Breaking- Up: The Road to Survival

Breaking up? Okay it’s over so now what?

Many people find themselves pondering this question when their relationship ends. You sit in disbelief while gloom starts to engulf your surroundings, suddenly all of the clichés play over and over in your mind but nothing hits harder than coming home to an empty house with your broken heart in hand.

How do you begin to rebuild your life when life with your ex is seems to be all you can remember? How are you suppose to survive this break up? The hours seem like an eternity and you constantly check your phone for calls or messages.

They’re not calling and they are not walking through the door. It’s time to face it and fight your way through it.

I understand how the emptiness and the feeling of loneliness is ripping a hole in the lining of your stomach. No matter how much it hurts you can’t hide away for the rest of your life. Pain is hard, emotional pain can feel like the worst. It weakens you and tears your every nerve ending.

You think there is no one that understands what it is you’re going through but you can best believe there is. There is some poor soul probably not much unlike yourself feeling just as sad and hurt at this very moment.

Come on up you go!

Time for a reality check

H-E-L-L-O ….stop walking around the house in his shirt.

Stop looking at those old Facebook photos and for goodness sake stop stalking your ex on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.  You have got to get rid of their things from the bathroom and put away all other memories or trinkets left behind.

stop asking why and trying to retrace your steps; the relationship came to that fork in the road and you are the only one left standing there with still a choice to make .

Bob Seger Rock and Roll great sang a song called “Roll me Away” in the song he sang “I could go east or I could go west it‘s all up for me to decide”.  You have the power to choose and that’s a beautiful thang!

It’s okay if you want to cry go on and have your pity party.

Put on some Luther, some Patty or who or whatever your favorite artist or  music is.  You can choose to have a seat in a darken room with your favorite beverage or you might choose to  dance your ass off.

The point is get it out!

It’s your party so you can laugh, cry, scream or cuss but turn the page (a cue from another Bob Seger song). Hell, close the damn book!


Relax and release.

The feeling of relief might feel like that of just having had a giant bowel movement after being constipated or the lifting of a two-hundred pound sack of concrete removed from your shoulders.

You have a revelation and realize that you had a life before you met this person and you can sure as well have a life after them.

Celebrate the fact that they will be missing out on the best thing never coming their way again. Like Beyonce sang in one of her best songs  “Don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin you’re irreplaceable

Embrace you, embrace those around you. Embrace life.

Before you know it you will have moved on.

One day in some given time someone is going to love you with the kind of love that you deserve and you will return that love. You will be held and kissed again. You are deserving of someone who will take you in their arms and love you because of the love you give to them.It takes time it takes patience but the most important thing you can ever hope to know is that whether you are single or coupled your heart can feel full once more.

I heard some profound words once upon a time in my younger life about the transitions of people in and out of your life is something that I never forgot.

The quote went like this: “ people come and go but for those who do you wrong they are no more than a sh*t stain on the panties of life so just remember to clean your ass and change your underwear”.

In other words move on.




Larry D. Miller has over 20 yrs. in the field of crisis intervention as a call center Supervisor for a national crisis hotline. Larry has authored a book titled "How to cheat and not get busted" is currently available at: and many online book retailers. Larry is not only a contributing writer for Ms Nix in the MIx he also generates his own blogs and facebook pages. Larry enjoys spending time with his family, writing, coaching baseball and playing golf.
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