Once Cheater, NOT Always A Cheater

Yes, ladies you read that correctly. I know you’ve heard the familiar saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, but I’m saying the opposite. In this edition of The Gay Bestie Speaks I’m spilling details on the man who cheated.

For starters there is a difference from a man who cheated and a compulsive cheater. A man who cheated once actually has a higher percentage in confessing fidelity and carries a specific trait called remorse or regret. We all know plenty of men who lack that, but when a man cares the guilt tends to haunt him. Now the most important thing is how he deals with the guilt. Did he tell you? Or did a third party inform you? I find those two factors highly important. A man who tells you with compassion understands the weight of the situation. If the matter is brought to your attention outside of the comfort of your relationship then by all means handle that.

Now if he does happen to come forth and confess he’s pleading for forgiveness. Yes, he actually wants your forgiveness not only to calm his guilt, but also to fix the state of your relationship. If you so choose to forgive him, remember that really means forgiving him not throwing it in his face every second. No one wants to be reminded of their mistakes each time they turn around. Remember that true love knows how to forgive, but nor does it mean forgetting.

As far as your relationship it’s exactly that, yours. Only share with others what you’re comfortable with sharing. Women have the tendency of spilling nearly everything to someone they think is a friend. As we know through life’s lessons not everyone truthfully wants the best for you. Believe it or not, but that chick two doors down repeats your business when you’re not around too. So that time when you told her about your relationship problems just know it became headline news to her closest friends later that night.


  • Only say what you’re strong enough to hear repeated.
  • True love knows how to forgive.
  • A person who cheated differs from a compulsive cheater.
  • Never allow you business to be headline news.
  • Your relationship is between you and your other half first.



As a New Jersey native it came as no surprise when Sebastien, birthed a knack for talking and writing. During his college days the young blogger gained experience through international talkers such as The Maury Show and The Mo’nique Show. After years of interning and assisting the aspiring journalist threw caution to the wind and launched TheGayBestie.com. The lifestyle and culture website provides a different spin on love, sex, relationships, and fashion. #TGB focuses on the 21st Century woman and her loyal companion, other known as the gay bestie. Readers will find discussions that are usually held behind closed doors placed in the forefront to totally meet the needs of all. No, topic is ever off limits. So ladies brace yourselves because Sebastien is taking you places where you’ll be sure to blush and share a laugh! He’s giving exactly what’s been missing. Grab you’re favorite beverage (i.e. red wine), sit back, and prepare to gab about this with your girlfriends the minute you see them.


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    • Ms. Nix

      November 7, 2013 at 11:17 am

      Excellent response Larry! But do you truly think a man will ever mend his ways? Some men do all the things you stated and turn right around and do the same thing again. So would you say its best to cut ties or do you continue to try and trust that person…give me some insight. I know a lot of women who trust again, and get burned again and again (playing devil’s advocate)…

      • larry

        November 7, 2013 at 3:29 pm

        Yes a man that I like to classify as the Accidental cheater (oops I slipped and fell in it cheater) may be the kind of man that can mend his ways but he must be dedicated and committed to doing so. This means he cannot put himself in compromising situations. Cheating is a choice first and foremost temptation is the driving force behind that choice. Women that find they get burned time and time again with men that I classify as a Dog or no conscious cheater. He is not housebroken. Most men still have an eye for attractive women even when married or dating but because they have a sense of right and wrong they don’t act on it; in other words they go on the paper and do not wonder off the property. The “Dog” will chase that tail until he catches it. He is a prime candidate for doing a dump and run!

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