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Computer Love: Relationships & Social Media

computer love

What I wouldn’t do for relationships to go back to the way things were – there was a time when you would call each other, meet and take a nice long walk on the beach. Or you would stay on the phone all night until one or both of you fell asleep only to wake up and long to hear the voice of the person you desired, you could barely wait (with great anxiety) to see his face again. But that has all changed since our lives center on the necessity to connect, our need to make each and every move we make known to the entire world through social media. “I just landed a new job!” – Facebook post; “Honey, I’m making stew for dinner,” –latest Tweet; “My kids are doing great in school,” – Instagram pic – we have become desensitized, lost the need for human contact and have divulged into the world of cyber connectivity as a means of maintaining the relationships of those closest to us.

Facebook
Today, we contact our family, friends and partners though social media but what has this done to the human element of our relationships – we have become distorted in our thinking and feeling. We no longer talk to our partner about their issues, our concerns about our relationship – we use their daily Facebook status updates to try to find the subliminal messages she may have left to evoke some kind of response. A tweet will hold more weight with you than the actual words you boyfriend will have to say to clear up any messes which may have been interpreted incorrectly. Did your son or daughter have a tragic day, look at his/her Instagram or Tumblr post – honestly, it is a damn shame we have come to this but here is where we are but what do we do to change it?

Reality

Get back in touch with reality and remove our personal lives from the cyber world. Finding friends, reading up on current events and the opinions people may have about “things happening” – these were the true intentions of the social media platforms – giving your friends some information about your well-being – this is fine. However, letting the entire internet universe know every detail about your life, where you work, live, and where you are at every given moment of the day has taken the place of human contact and could be potential fatal (for some it has been). You can go on YouTube and other video media outlets and find tons of videos on people who are fighting each other over things said on their Facebook or Twitter pages; you will find stories of cyber-bullying where young men and women have taken their own lives because of the words displayed on their social pages. You will hear of countless stories of marriages suffering from infidelity or divorce because someone cross the line and began to invite in others into their personal lives and their bedrooms using Facebook. It’s time to use these media outlets for their intended purposes and let our personal lives be….private and personal! Go back to human contact, write a letter, make a phone call – get out of the world of computer love and back into the land of the living.

I've seen it all, been through it all and I am still standing strong. I have very little patience for foolishness but I have enough compassion and drive to help those who ask for help. Recently, I got tired of seeing women just making some poor choices and having made many mistakes in my life; I am here to help you out!

51 Comments

    • Ms. Nix

      September 24, 2013 at 10:21 am

      I am glad it helps out Jessica with your relationship and you are probably in the category of men and women who don’t post negative aspects of your relationship online. I am glad to see it is working for you in a positive light instead of a negative one.

  1. M@SSBD

    September 19, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    I have such a love/hate relationship with social media. I love it because I enjoy staying up to date with every one and connecting to those I wouldn’t have otherwise connected with. Let’s face it, sometimes you just don’t want to spend 2 hours talking on the phone to talkative Gma Mary. At the same time, I totally understand everything you’re saying about becoming desensitized to human interaction.

  2. Rachel

    September 18, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    FB has allowed me to connect with family all across the U.S., some that I have yet to meet. It can be a time suck and I admit I have at times overshared, but I have seen a lot of good come from social media too. Friends and family have started amazing businesses because of the people they meet on social media. I think it also allows you to connect with people who feel passionately about the things you do. Ex. I am very much into fitness and being healthy. My family and friends…not so much, but I have met so many moms online that share my same passion. I gladly call many of them friends now. I do see many of your points and it would be nice to have some of the same niceties from the past. Who wouldn’t want a handwritten letter, but at the same time life evolves and grows, it is up to us to find balance in it all.
    Rachel recently posted…Roasted Chickpea saladMy Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      September 19, 2013 at 9:21 am

      Rachel –
      The modern age has changed how we communicate and the speed in which information is delivered; however, there is something to be said about the ways we use to communicate. I use social media too for my family members that are thousands of miles away but I pick up the phone when it is something extremely personal.

    • Ms. Nix

      September 19, 2013 at 9:19 am

      Holly:

      I had to give my oldest son a lesson on how to use FB properly. I don’t want him to invite any extra madness into his life.

  3. Divachyk

    September 18, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    Social media has taken over. I was concerned about privacy when starting my blog but took the leap of faith. I do believe people over share which is risky personally & professionally.
    Relaxed Thairapy
    Divachyk recently posted…Healthy Hair Moment: Meet Pre_MedMy Profile

  4. Ryan (@bigcalfguy)

    September 18, 2013 at 8:45 am

    You are so right! I think that people have been conditioned to believe that the world cares about the minutiae of your life. Nobody wants to read your tweet: cheerios for breakfast! #awesome. We have ‘blackout n ights’ at home where the elecronics go silent, we play board games, we pop popcorn, and we reconnect. Life’s too important for anything else.

  5. Jamie (Mama.Mommy.Mom.)

    September 18, 2013 at 7:59 am

    I know so much more about what’s going on in my friend’s lives because of social media. It has really allowed me to stay connected with far more people that I would have ever kept in touch with via phone or even email.
    Jamie (Mama.Mommy.Mom.) recently posted…Lala-Oopsies: A Sew Magical Tale {DVD Review and Giveaway} #ENMNetwork (Sponsored)My Profile

  6. Nikki @ Wonderfully Women

    September 17, 2013 at 11:53 pm

    I can’t imagine life without social media, I would miss so much. My marriage of 23 years ended a while ago and I have not yet ventured into the modern day land of social media dating, not sure how that will work out.
    Nikki @ Wonderfully Women recently posted…Just Breathe – The Science Behind The Saying.My Profile

  7. Sylina

    September 17, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    I agree with most of this! I hate that everyone feels the need to tell everyone about their day. I almost never update my status. I use facebook mostly to instant message my best friend who lives in Florida(I live in Mi). It gives us the chance to talk. But I definitely spend more time than I should and should probably stop learning about the problems the world is having from facebook and maybe watch the news once in a while!
    Sylina recently posted…Pumpkin Spice Syrup RecipeMy Profile

  8. Britney @ The Princess & Her Cowboys

    September 16, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    I agree that it would be easier if people could actually talk to each other in person about most things. But I think if we find a good balance between the two, that it would actually help us even more.
    Britney @ The Princess & Her Cowboys recently posted…Guest Post at Domestic SuperheroMy Profile

  9. Sandra

    September 16, 2013 at 7:31 am

    Agree and disagree! I love to write a letter (just need to make sure I don’t forget to put it in the mail), I love receiving letters! I love Facebook because it makes it easy to share my life with my family abroad!
    I agree that you need a strong foundation and I think the youth these days does not have this foundation, to build a relationship from scratch and not from Facebook updates ( Like we are not really in a relationship until the Facebook relationship status is updated). Loving God and then loving people is real world hard work and not easy as it might appear in the online world…
    Sandra recently posted…We start into our third week of bible studyMy Profile

  10. pam russo

    September 16, 2013 at 7:00 am

    No one is a bigger fan of technology and all the opportunities that come along with it than I am, but there is no substitute for human interaction and there never will be. :-)

  11. Chinky

    September 15, 2013 at 9:56 pm

    You said it! Your first few sentences made me reminisce the time when my husband was just courting me… the long walks, the telephone call (until you fall asleep) and getting excited to see each other again!

    Since we live in a very high-tech world, the youth of today as gotten used to instants in everything. I hope they will still be able to experience being “there” for people rather than just being online!

  12. eschelle

    September 15, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    completely agree people should air out their dirty laundry on social media when it comes to their relationship. Just like you shouldnt yell at a business via social media either. respect is always the key in all that you do :)
    eschelle recently posted…Mumfection Mom of the Week – Leslie Botchar on Back to SchoolMy Profile

  13. Ana @MommysBundle

    September 15, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    I totally agree! Social media definitely has it’s place (and I know that first hand since i started my career online), but the need for first-hand human interaction is so key. It’s funny how the more socially connecting we become (online) the more lonely we can become in the real world.
    Ana @MommysBundle recently posted…5 Signs Your Baby Has Become a ToddlerMy Profile

  14. Marisa

    September 15, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    Oh so how very true, while social media has been a blessing to families and friends who live miles and miles apart it is really quite sad when you have 40 people over for Christmas or Thanksgiving and nearly everyone from age 8 and up is texting. Computers, tablets, ipods and phones have become normal and it seems as though we merely co-exist instead of existing together. Very good food for thought!
    Marisa recently posted…Love to Write? Learn to Blog!My Profile

  15. Emilee

    September 14, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    That is so true! I love social media, and it definitely has its place. With 3 special needs kids I can’t get out as much as I like, and even phone calls are difficult unless the other person understands the noise in the background (I’ve had family members say they won’t call because of it.) So it can be really helpful for me to stay in touch, but I definitely don’t want to completely lose touch!
    Emilee recently posted…Children’s Oxylent Review and Giveaway (ends 9/28)My Profile

  16. Lynnette

    September 14, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    I totally agree! People are so caught up in the technological matrix that manners and genuine human interaction are becoming a thing of the past. Love this post!
    Lynnette recently posted…Eat Candy for BreakfastMy Profile

  17. Peggy

    September 13, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    That is so true. I have told my niece, that some of those things do not need to be said on Facebook for the whole world to see. I have told other to take it off Facebook and talk to each other. I like to catch glimpses of my friends…. I do not want to know the details of what they are fighting about. And to your point… pick up the phone and make a lunch date… with family, a friend or someone that need human interaction.
    Peggy recently posted…Share Your World – 2013 Week 31My Profile

  18. Kecia

    September 13, 2013 at 6:12 am

    Very well said, though I actually met my husband on MySpace, so not all social media is a bad! :) I do agree that we have lost the intimate connection with most of our friends and family. There are so many I haven’t actually spoken to in years, yet I know what’s going on with them thanks to Facebook. It can be a good thing as well as a bad thing at the same time.
    Kecia recently posted…Including Build-A-Bear in our Baby’s NurseryMy Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      September 13, 2013 at 4:50 pm

      Kecia:
      Congrats to you and your hubby!!! Social media can bring some good things along the way (smiles) and there are some benefits to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. It is just time for people to realize they have to create some boundaries on just what they share and how much they reveal about personal matters.

    • Ms. Nix

      September 13, 2013 at 4:48 pm

      Tricia:
      Social media can be a great way of networking and making business contacts and keep in-touch with family and friends. But the game request, etc. can drive you crazy. I too have had to unfriend some individuals because of the way they portray themselves online is not something I want to be associated with.

  19. Lindsey

    September 12, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I hate how much time I spend on it, but I love connecting with family/friends and promoting my blog is fun. I think it’s about balance, which is sometimes easier said than done. I try to limit my time on it and use it with purpose.
    Lindsey recently posted…Green Bachelorette BashMy Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      September 13, 2013 at 4:46 pm

      Lindsey:
      What a cute way of explaining your love/hate relationship. Connecting with your family and friends – nothing wrong with that at all, especially, when you live in different states. I’ve just learned to be very, very careful about what is communicated to them online versus picking up the telephone. I commend you on having balance in the way you order you social media contact – many don’t!!!

  20. Sandra

    September 12, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    I understand and agree with what you have said here. I don’t want to know when people are upset with each other or even personal issues that give too much information. I think too much use of social media is affecting the younger generation. Just read an article that said young people don’t even have a desire to learn to drive because their friends are so close all the time on social media. How nice it would be to go back a few steps and include more personal time with our family and friends.
    Sandra recently posted…What do your kids really want for dinner?My Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      September 13, 2013 at 4:44 pm

      Sandra:
      I remember when you went outside and connected with your friends. I came up in the era where you better make it home before the street lights come on – the reason this phrase was even used is because you would get up first thing Saturday morning have a long school week, throw some breakfast down your throat and go outside to ride bikes or play games or go swimming or go to the park – I grew up when children were physically active and motivated to do so. Social media is robbing them of that.

      But to return to the subject matter, I just wish our personal lives would go back to be “personal” – I know relationships would have a better chance of lasting if social media were not involved.

  21. Yolanda

    September 12, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    I’m with you!! I don’t mind social media, but for the one’s you love, make it a little more personal. Something I try to instill in my children daily!

    • Ms. Nix

      September 12, 2013 at 2:16 pm

      I’m with you Yolanda!!! I’m already stressing the importance of what you share on social media!

  22. Kelly

    September 12, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    Awesome post. I wish so many young women I know (and some older women, too) would heed this advice. I get tired of seeing everyone’s dirty laundry on FB! I’m definitely sharing this one!
    Kelly recently posted…Fish Boil Fundraiser, All ages; Genoa City, WIMy Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      September 12, 2013 at 1:55 pm

      Thank you Kelly!! I really wish more people understood just how damaging this can be to their personal lives and to their careers!

  23. Wendy

    September 11, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    I don’t know if it’s my age, but I have never seen or posted relationship problems on FB. Maybe it’s a generational thing? I have loved using FB as a way to connect family and friends, who do not live near us, to our lives. That said, I still pick up the phone to talk. I don’t always understand the lure of texting. I agree that priority needs to be with personal interaction. But, do love how some of the social sites have made life a little bit easier. ;-)
    Wendy recently posted…10 Tips for RemodelingMy Profile

  24. Tiffany H

    September 11, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    I agree with you. Social media can get out of control. I like it for what it is, but when it starts to distract from real life, you’ve got a problem.

  25. Ruth Hill

    September 11, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    I don’t know how people have time to put all that garbage on social media. I do talk with my family and my friends (don’t have very many) when I can, but I certainly don’t spend the time texting and e-mailing and facebooking everyone about everything. In fact, social media is the way I get the word out about my blog more than anything else.
    Ruth Hill recently posted…This Day in History September 11, 2001My Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      September 11, 2013 at 2:29 pm

      Ruth what you are doing is what Facebook and other social media sites intended – we (society) changed the scope of things.

    • Ms. Nix

      September 11, 2013 at 2:30 pm

      Don’t get me wrong, I love to see my family and friends doing well. But personal issues should not be addressed through social media – just my opinion.

  26. Erin @ My Mommy World

    September 11, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    You are so right! Sometimes I just get so sick of Facebook and Twitter…keeping up with all of it is so exhausting! Usually on the weekends, I just don’t even look at any of it. Having a personal relationship is so much better than spending time with a cell phone or computer :)
    Erin @ My Mommy World recently posted…Enter to win Kid-Friendly Tablet Accessories from KiteReaders and get a Free eBook!My Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      September 11, 2013 at 12:40 pm

      Yes, we are missing out on what we use to have, need and what should be required – personal interaction.

  27. Brian

    September 11, 2013 at 11:27 am

    Great post! I too miss the “good old days”. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about dating anymore, but its something I think about for my children. How different their world is going to be than mine was!!!!

    • Ms. Nix

      September 11, 2013 at 11:32 am

      People forget what’s put out there can always be found. If you have children, they can be impacted by your choice to let everyone and anyone into certain aspects of your life that should remain out of the internet’s grasp.

  28. Martini

    September 10, 2013 at 11:58 pm

    You are absolutely correct… Im just happy that my husband and I choose not to write status about our relationship be it directly or indirectly

  29. Martini

    September 10, 2013 at 11:56 pm

    MS Nix you are absolutely correct! WE have become a desensitized race of people… Im happy that my husband and I don’t communicate via the web… though we are both a part of each others social network I refrain from writing status about our relationship be it directly or indirectly.

  30. Katherine G

    September 10, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    This is so true. I don’t air all my business and there are certain people that I would rather interact with face to face rather than over social media
    Katherine G recently posted…Me Time Makes For A Better Partner/MomMy Profile

  31. Michelle

    September 10, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    This is such a great post and so true! I try to keep social media positive, I never want to bring anger or arguments out in front of every one like that- it never turns out well.
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    • Ms. Nix

      September 10, 2013 at 8:11 pm

      Too may times you see individual airing all their business out on some social media platform. This is not necessary and brings in unwanted or unsolicited advice or opinions. Why would you want to bring chaos into your world. Social media activities should exclude your personal life and personal business; however, if you do put yourself out there be ready for whatever comes. I am glad you choose to keep it positive!

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