Counseling or F*ck Off ! : When To Call It Quits

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I know together we make this relationship a little harder, at least on ourselves
We give in, we take from each other so much that I feel we don’t need anyone else
We fuss and we fight and the next day we tight this is crazy, girl you need some help.

I watched this show on A&E Surviving Marriage that really struck me and I thought the concept was really dope. The premise is a couple who is on the verge of divorce or separation. They agree to spend five days in an unknown island/land and have to compete a series of challenges, and see if their love can withstand the ultimate test.

So I watched one episode. The couple showcased had been married for 17 years, and had five kids. The husband had retired from the navy and was currently unemployed for the past two years. The wife was the sole breadwinner of the house. She resented him for not being the provider and protector of the family. He resented her for not being supportive/understanding about him finding work. She was not affectionate towards him anymore, which affected his self esteem.  He felt she jeopardized a possible promotion when he was enlisted, because she wanted him to spend more time at home.

So for five days, they were asked to do a series of challenges, in hopes of rekindling their relationship and saving their marriage. I’m going to ruin the episode for you, the wife decides that she had enough and wanted to file for divorce.

I thought the concept of the show was brilliant. Regardless of the fact that the wife ultimately decides to end the marriage, they both were willing to try by any means necessary to save their marriage. That is admirable.

We live in an age where marriage is seen as temporary, and divorce is an option. We’re more concerned with the dress, the ring, and the celebration, than the sacrifice and commitment it actually takes to be married and STAY married. Everyone is so excited about stunting on the ‘gram with their fancy bridal showers and their sparkly rings. No one talks about how hard marriage really is.

As we get older, our romantic relationships take on a different tone. We aren’t dating just to date. We have exclusive relationships because we see a future with our partner. We want to build and grow with this person. Face it, dating sucks. If you find a person you actually vibe with, you’re trying to hold onto them.

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My name is Mora Adeyi. I am a social worker, serving mentally ill adults in the Manhattan area. I currently reside in Harlem and have been living in New York for the past four years. In my spare time, I enjoy running, romantic comedies, and traveling. I am a relationship blogger for
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