The Dutch Debate

So you meet someone and the two of you hit it off. After a few days, weeks, or however long of talking, he pops the question: “Will you go out with me?” You graciously accept his offer because after all you do like the guy and you prepare yourself for what you think will be an awesome time. Fast forward to the date…

Things are going well, conversation is great, you find out that you have a lot in common, and you’re looking forward to seeing each

Originally seen on

Originally seen on

other again, but then it happens…. the check comes and without batting an eye, he says to you, “Can we split it?” [Insert screeching record] And just like that, THIS DATE IS OVER! Why?

Because you are completely turned off and rightfully so.

Asking a person to go Dutch is almost always a sure-fire way to get yourself:

A)   Placed in the friend zone

B)   Absolutely positively nowhere close to getting any action

C)   Cursed out

D)   Eliminated from any future dates

E)   Talked about on

F)    All of the above



Re-evaluate Your Dating Strategy

Now I empathize with men when it comes to dating because in most cases, they are picking up the tab, but come on now fellas. You have got to do better. If you don’t want to part with your hard-earned dollars to pay for a woman that you asked out on a date, then perhaps you should consider re-evaluating your dating strategy or just not date at all.

For starters, first dates should be simple and inexpensive. Why? Because you don’t really know the person. Why invite someone you just met to a fancy  restaurant only to learn that they are boring as all hell, crazy, or that you two simply don’t click? You could’ve found that out during a walk in the park, a visit to a local museum, or over a cup of coffee.

Financial Matters

As I stated previously, I empathize with a lot of men and understand that dating can get pricey because they tend to take on more of the financial burden and women should be mindful of that.  Ladies, if you cannot pronounce said menu item (“Yes I’ll have a glass of that Murr Laht”) and/or would not be willing or able to pick up the entire tab if the tables were turned, don’t go overboard and instead be respectful of that man’s bank account.

Chivalry Is Not Dead

man-opening-door-for-womanNow I can’t speak for everybody, but I think that going Dutch on a first date is very tacky and just plain rude. My father raised me to believe that the person who asks or initiates the date is the one who pays. I know a lot of guys will spew the whole “the feminist movement killed chivalry” or “women are independent now”, but that is such bullshit a cop out and immature thinking in my opinion. Besides, what is so wrong with showing the person that you invited on a date that they are valued and respected enough for you to cover that date? So fellas, please note that it is perfectly ok to be a gentleman. I understand that XYZ female didn’t say “thank you” when you held the door for her 5 years ago or that some ungrateful girl broke your heart in the 9th grade, but that should not get in the way of you being courteous.

So what purpose does it really serve to ask a person to go Dutch?  If it is your goal to be in this person’s favor, have future dates or any form of a romantic relationship, exactly how is going Dutch going to help you? Of course, there are a select few who have gone Dutch on a first date and successfully secured a second date, but I’m inclined to believe they are the exception [although I’ve actually never met any person in this category].

Dating is an investment and with any investment comes risks. You may or may not get a return on your investment, but that’s the nature of dating and, if you aren’t prepared to take the slightest risk, then perhaps you shouldn’t be dating at all.

With that said, just say NO to going Dutch! But what the hell do I know anyways? Check out the video of our in studio discussion about going Dutch on a first date!


And that’s my five cents! 


Miss Marie

The NON-Expert Dater

Has someone ever ruined a date by asking you to go Dutch? Are you ok with going Dutch on a first date?

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Miss Marie is a 30 something year-old dater hailing from the Washington, DC metropolitan area by way of suburban Maryland. She launched in November of 2012 because she had one bad date too many. Her goal was to create a site for kicks and giggles to serve as a platform to allow others to share the good, the BAD, and the ugly when it comes to their own dating experiences so that everyone can learn from their mistakes and what NOT to do in the realm of dating and relationships.


  1. Natasha B|Fashionably Fabulous

    February 12, 2014 at 4:43 am

    Great post. I’ve never had a guy ask to go dutch while in the dating game. Do men really do that? Wow!!!
    Natasha B|Fashionably Fabulous recently posted…Weekend Fun: Food & Wine TastingMy Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      February 12, 2014 at 7:37 am

      Oh yes!!! There are some men that will invite you out and expect you to go Dutch. That’s not a date that’s a business meeting!

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