Hot Topic Tuesday: How Much Is Enough?

enough is enough 1 “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

~Maya Angelou

  Every time I think he’s gonna be there to have my back, he’s gonna be there to support me, of course he loves me, right? I found myself there to support him day in day out, year in year out. Now I didn’t support him financially, but I was there for all his bad days, good days, and sad days and had patience for all the days PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) took control of his mind and body. On a side note in short PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder. It can occur after you’ve seen or experienced a traumatic event that involved the threat of injury or death. I’ve always believed that if I treated him the way I want to be treated, I would get it in return from him directly – well the time came for him to “pay the piper” and he fell face first.

 enough is enough 2

When I had surgery all my family and friends were there to support me, nurture me, clean me, feed me and sit with me. Where was he? Oh yeah, he was spending his time having “great conversations” with some blank chick. He never came by to see me, but he called with excuses on why he wasn’t around. Finally he decided he couldn’t continue to lie, he told me about befriending this blank chick and I immediately dropped him. Of course, he thought I was being too “sensitive” and making too much of a big deal of just a “friendship”… Well it didn’t take long for him to find out that the grass wasn’t so green across the yard… It was unkept… It had weeds, dry patches and constantly required grooming and watering.

 enough is enough 3

Yep, he realized quickly that he let me get away… And that his actions were foolish, but he still can’t own up to it, because he surely won’t admit to making a bad decision. He still calls and claims we’ll always be great friends, we’ll always be close, he loves me and we will always do business together. Well friendship is one thing, can’t whole heartily be that if I don’t trust you, right? Business together, perhaps… But my cookies are not included for exchange or tasting… So in all this I say, why would I waste any more time on someone who can only meet the needs of “self”? Why should he be afforded a second chance to get it right, especially since he has not admitted his fault? How many times do we continue to nurture something that is not rewarding to us? Should this be a labor of love?


The DivorcedDIva

“Love Still Exist”

Happily divorced mother of one. I date when I find a worthy partner. I love to talk about relationships, work through problems with people and remind them of their options. I'm very open and willing to share all of my experiences to help others.


  1. Beverly Diehl

    April 16, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    Too often people (not just women, but women do seem prone to doing it) do too much for others, with the idea that eventually, the other person will “get it” and reciprocate.

    Generally, that doesn’t happen. We teach others they can treat us badly and we’ll still suck it up and play nice.

    Eventually, if we want to be treated differently, we have to not just hint and beg for it, but REQUIRE it. And be willing to say, “buh-bye!” if the other person can’t step to the plate and deliver.

    • Ms. Nix

      April 16, 2013 at 2:27 pm

      Beverly, I could not agree with you more. There are so many people that are willing to use and mistreat you – if you allow them to do so. There was a time when you had more genuine individuals attempting to get into positive and healthly, loving relationships; this is no longer the case. More and more you find people have this, “what can you do for me,” or “I’ll take all you have to give and you’ll get what I feel like giving if I choose to,” – attitude. It is more about self than being self-less.

%d bloggers like this: