Your Self-Worth Is Not For Sale

We’re all guilty of it, staying in a relationship that’s toxic. Hoping, wishing, and praying that the roller coaster ride you’ve been experiencing will finally level out and things will get better. It’s not. Your mate has so much mind control over you that your self-esteem has hit rock bottom and you don’t know your self-worth anymore. You feel as if you can’t do any better, so you stay.  You stay because you think you’re damaged goods and no one else will want to be bothered with your past issues. Your past haunts you.

Your mate uses your past against you repeatedly to make you feel even more worthless and to keep your self-esteem low to keep that mind control. You attempt to leave numerous times, telling yourself, “this is it” and you’re never going back. However, your abusive mate uses tactics to make you feel guilty for leaving him/her. You decide to return only to experience the same mental and verbal abuse that you’ve received before. Your attempts to leave have failed and your abusive mate has won yet again. What do you do? Increase your self-esteem and know your self-worth.

Sometimes we want happiness and to be loved so badly that we don’t want to accept that we are not happy or hope that by taking the lead and doing right, that they might get in line with us. It’s so hard to believe that the person that you love so much doesn’t love you the same. Never allow someone to make you think you are not worthy…because you are.

Often times when we meet someone that may potentially be toxic in our lives, there are red flags in the beginning, but we tend to ignore them. That warning sign or that gut feeling you may get when you notice a person acting abnormally, you definitely should not ignore. We sometimes want to assign ourselves to these dysfunctional people and turn ourselves into “Social Workers” or “Psychologist” thinking you can fix a person, or repair the dysfunctional habits that person may have.

Just because you are lonely, doesn’t mean you have to take in every stray dog or cat that may come your way. Know that you deserve the best in life. Know that you deserve someone that respects you and makes you happy. Know that you can’t always fix what’s broken in other people. Know that you need to take care of YOU first. Know your self-worth.


Harmonee Holmes is freelance writer originally from Baltimore, MD. Harmonee grew up in small town Halifax, North Carolina and attended Shaw University and Strayer University in Raleigh, NC, She began her passion for writing 10 years ago by blogging and writing short stories, while residing in Chicago, IL. Most of her writing is inspired by her own personal past experiences in relationships and she also likes to discuss current events and politics in the news.She will often sometimes just be creative with a fictional short story. Harmonee is an Insurance Counselor and part-time writer currently residing in Baltimore, MD. IG:@cocopuff319 Twitter: @harmoneeholmes Website:


  1. Larry D. Miller

    March 4, 2014 at 11:48 pm

    So many of us fear being alone that we accept those who are less worthy of us into our lives.

    • Ms. Nix

      March 5, 2014 at 9:06 am

      I know I’ve been guilty of settling in the past. It is not worthy being miserable just to say you are in a relationship. You should be happy being with someone but first you need to be happy with yourself.

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