Wondering Wednesday – Can’t Get A Mate?

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So, you’re wondering why you are not attracting the men/women you’re attracted to…

So is it you? Well, we have a tendency of boxing ourselves into situations that bind us rather than to promote our growth. Sometimes we overlook the very person in whom has loved us for the longest yet he/she isn’t what we think they should be, like they don’t look like we expect, they don’t have some of the qualities that we were originally looking for.. Like the “pretty” hair, the “green” eyes, the ten million dollars in the bank, the big house, the fourteen cars.

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So what did we do? We “moved” on to the next one that looked better, the next one that talked a better game, the next one who you thought was faithful, the next one that you thought could stroke you like a Gigolo, the next one who had money, the next one that promised they wouldn’t cheat again, the next one who was on the down low, the next one who was married.. When all along you had that “one”, the “one” who always had your back, the one who always put your needs before his/her own, the one who wanted you even when you thought there was something “better” out there, you know that one you left behind for the grass that was greener across the way..

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So now where are you? It’s time to do a self-check, self-evaluation, time to see what you really want in a relationship or if you really want one at all. Do you want to “grow old with someone”? Or do you just want a “place” keeper until the right one shows up? When you figure it out, clean out your emotional closet, close those doors that you’ve left cracked open and really put your foot down, really make solid strong decisions that put you in an emotionally “grown up” place in your heart and your mind. Then list the attributes you want in that someone, then the best part, pray and anticipate them to show up in your life, but make sure you are doing your part on a daily basis. Make sure that you are keeping your emotions clear and available to be engaged by someone worthy of you!

Let’s heal and get ready to love again. There’s is someone made for everyone! And whatever you do, NEVER, NEVER give up! LOVE is a battle field.

And always remember: LOVE STILL EXISTS

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The DivorcedDiva

Happily divorced mother of one. I date when I find a worthy partner. I love to talk about relationships, work through problems with people and remind them of their options. I'm very open and willing to share all of my experiences to help others.


  1. Mary

    March 27, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    I really would like to find that someone special; even though I enjoy my me time & having the freedom to do what I want, I still wish I had someone in my life. I do feel like there’s days I do not know what I want, yet I have attracted really BAD dudes!:/ I have played hard to get, easy, loose, not loose, but still they all have been jerks. All I can do is hope when the time is right Mr. Almost Perfect will pop up;)

  2. YUMMommy

    March 27, 2013 at 3:47 am

    I agree. Sometimes, you have to reevaluate your ‘perfect mate’ list because at the end of the day there is no such thing. I’m not saying settle for just anybody but make sure that you are looking for traits that go beyond physical attraction and material gain.

    Give the not so perfect mate a chance and you may end up pleasantly surprised.

    • Ms. Nix

      March 27, 2013 at 4:47 pm

      No man (or woman) is perfect but you (as you stated) you don’t have to settle. You are the only person who can determine what you will and will not stand for and what is or is not a deal breaker. The best thing is really to pay attention and really get to learn the person you are considering as your potential mate. I am a firm advocate on asking direct questions and listen, earnestly, to the answers. A person will tell you exactly what their motives are and what they are about if you just listen and watch their behavior.

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