Wondering Wednesday: Why Do We Make LOVE So Hard?

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So from what I have seen in the short time that I’ve lived in the world (it’s not like I’m Methuselah who lived for 969 years or anything but…)is that everyone (man, boy, child, woman and girl) desire to be loved. When we are born, we hope to be met with unfailing love from our parents. We hope and anticipate that they are already in love with each other so that when we arrive it will be a seamless entrance to a fantastic situation. Unfortunately that’s not always how life works as most of us know all too well. We are born and who are parents are, how they live, their desires and their demons are unfortunately placed on us whether we are raised by them or we are raised by another. So many times our outlook on LOVE, LIFE and the pursuit of HAPPINESS is influenced by our first experiences. As an adult today, I may not carry enough “baggage” that the bellman has to escort me with a cart, but even one carry-on can hold some deep seated issues of the heart… It’s not always the measure of quantity, but it depends on the potency. With that said, we have to take an account of the heart. We have to go back and search out the whys of what we do what we do, so that we can clean our hearts of all that extra pain, disappointment and let downs so that we can give LOVE our all and all. If we’re afraid of what causes us to feel like we feel today we may never reach our full potential to LOVE and receive LOVE in its fullest form.

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 Many times we think that we’ve given LOVE our best when we don’t realize that we haven’t even scratched the surface of what LOVE really is. We get caught up in LOVING someone when we’ve never experienced someone really LOVING us, so how warped is our definition of LOVE. Many of us have come from broken homes, out of Foster care, being raised by other family members; we were raised by the streets or of a broken society, so then how can we say we know LOVE?

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The first step to any problem is first admitting that there is a problem, so let’s start by agreeing that we do NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE. Now we can embark on discovering what LOVE consists of  LOVE is more than being attracted to someone, liking them, spending time with them, feeling “good” about them, being intimate with them and having sex with them. LOVE is what’s there once EVERYTHING is stripped.

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LOVE is an action. When you really LOVE someone it’s EASY to FORGIVE. If you’re holding onto old bitterness, pain, disappointment or anger, you may really want to see if you are really LOVING this person. Sometimes we mask toleration with thinking that it’s LOVE, when real LOVE will mask the faults of others. Anger and LOVE are like oil and water, they don’t mix. Anger will dilute LOVE. The willingness to be longsuffering, understanding, patient and putting others before you are actions that represent LOVE. Remember LOVE is given like a gift, LOVE is not forced.

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If you think you can be there for the long haul even when LIFE throws the curve balls then maybe you’re ready. When you’re in it to WIN then maybe you can handle what LOVE is all about. But never say that you’ve given LOVE your ALL when you didn’t allow yourself to LOVE past all the superficialness of this LIFE. Past what a person looks like after LIFE has taken its toll, past your ego, past your needs, past what is EASY… When you can LOVE in the face of despair, when the good times aren’t so good, when you’ve gone “through” the struggle to find that there is happiness on the other side and the best part of the journey was having someone to experience it with, someone who kept you focused, who kept you strong for the fight, who was in your corner every time the bell rang, that person that wouldn’t let you throw in the towel, the one cheering for you when the stands were empty, the one who believed in you when your coach didn’t, the one who told you that you can do all things you set your mind to… That’s when being on the front lines is easy because the victory is in the cause not always winning the battle.

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Let us LOVE without prejudice, let us LOVE our fellow man, let us try LOVE on and see if we can make a difference in our own lives. Let us LOVE like there’s no second chance, let us embrace those around us near and far. Most of all let us all remember that we NEED LOVE, that we NEED EACH OTHER, that LIFE is nothing without LOVE. Since we all NEED it, let’s give it! No excuses, no more feeling sorry for ourselves, no more reasons why we shouldn’t… Let’s just get out there today and give LOVE like never before and when you’re giving it, expect it to return to you seven fold… Remember whatever you put out, you will get back! What a wonderful place this could be…


The DivorcedDiva

Happily divorced mother of one. I date when I find a worthy partner. I love to talk about relationships, work through problems with people and remind them of their options. I'm very open and willing to share all of my experiences to help others.
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