So You’re Looking for a Good Man

You say you’re looking for a good man, but would you recognize him if he stood in front of you? More importantly would he find you to be a good woman? Some women claim they want a good man, but their words and actions tell a different story. From the constant negative comments directed toward men to the way they carry themselves with a lack of dignity and respect. Now mind you, not all men are good and not all women are negative.

You say you want a good man, but you put specific conditions on what a good man is. He has to be handsome, he has to have a good job, he has to have his own place, he has to have his own car and he has to be able to give you “stuff”. No where in this description is how he should treat you and make you feel.  Some equate a good man with material and superficial things, instead of equating a good man as being a man of substance.

As seen on

As seen on

You say you want a good man, but you make any man that comes near you pay for the mistakes and abuses of another man. That good man you might be pushing away did nothing to you. His only “crime” was showing an interest and trying to get to know you as a person. It’s not his fault you made a decision to be with someone who didn’t respect you or know your worth. That was your decision, so don’t make him pay for it.

You say you want a good man, but how do you carry yourself?  You think it’s cool to talk loud, curse, and call other women bitches and hoes. You run around half dressed leaving nothing to the imagination. You say you’re keeping it real and if he can’t accept that then fuck him. Yet you get upset when all wants to do is stimulate your kitty instead of stimulate your mind.

You say you want a good man, but you constantly repeat you don’t need a man, somewhat confusing. Either you want one or you don’t. Either you need one or you don’t. You proudly boast that you can take care of you and your own, that’s great. However, where does a good man fit into this? If he’s not needed or wanted, then he’s going to keep on walking to someone who appreciates him.

You say you want a good man, but when you see another woman with a man you tear her down. You dissect everything about her. You talk negatively about her looks, her weight, her hair, how she walks, how she talks and other petty things. Does putting her down make the obvious less painful, she is in a relationship and you aren’t. Bitterness and jealousy is not a good look on anyone.

You say you want a good man, but have you done the work to become a good woman? You expect him to bring some good to the relationship table, but what are your contributions to the relationship table?  Those traits you’re looking for in a good man you need to cultivate in yourself. Let go of the negative mindset. Let go of the baggage from past relationships. Let go of the “I am Superwoman and I can save the world on my own” mentality. Let go of the bitterness and jealousy.

Before you can attract a good man you need to change your attitude. In changing  your attitude learn to love yourself and know your worth. Really love yourself and really know your worth. You’re also going to need to let down those walls you have built to protect yourself from hurt and give a good man a chance. You’ll find that once you let go of the negative and willing open your heart to love the man that is good for you will find a way into your life

Simply put she is finally enjoying life. Each day is a chance for a new discovery. She had a very sheltered existence and now daring to venture out into the world. She has taken off the limitations and trying new things. She is single by choice, but looking forward to her next relationship. Living in the Chesapeake, VA area for now, but open to the next move.
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