Mistress Series: Darkness In His Eyes – Mariah

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 I’m a woman. I am a strong woman. My weakness is in my flesh and I don’t care to deny it. My appetite for a man’s touch is unwavering and unfulfilled by the toys I slide between my thighs. I need someone to take hold of me and rattle my body into an unfamiliar place. It never mattered if his heart was all the way mine. I just needed his touch to break the silence in the succulent hallowed halls known as my pussy. She is the gateway to all that I need and all I thought he could fulfill…or so I believed.  I’m a woman, I’m a strong woman, I’m a mistress, Mariah.

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It all began when I looked in those dark brown eyes across the room that drew me into a trance and commanded me to open my legs right then.  I’m a business woman in public. So I tend to cover up the ratchet slut inside with flirtatious winks and purposefully switch my 40 inch hips slowly so he can imagine how to make it bounce.  This was the case when we caught each other’s eyes at a tapas place I frequent after work. The looks finally turned into an invitation for drinks and a conversation I was not expecting.

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We talked for hours like we had been friends for years. We were laughing at jokes that didn’t make any sense to anyone surrounding us and sharing weird facts about each other. Things like he likes a spoon of peanut butter before bed and I can’t sleep without watching at least one rerun episode of Sex and the City. Imagine that. I wanted to just wrap my legs around him then I really wanted to wrap my arms around him. Then he lowered the boom.

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“I’m married…she’s my world…the better side of me”


After that I asked the bar tender for my check, grabbed my coat, and started out the door. Being the gentleman that he was he offered to walk me to my car. The brisk walk turned into a slow stroll that let the moonlight shine on his dark eyes and my legs slid open. He pressed me up against my car grabbed my waist and neck and kissed me. Next thing I knew my heart was beating faster than my ass against him in the back of my Honda civic. He grabbed my hair and gently pulled me back and whispered that his wife may be the better side of him, but I was the better part of him.

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For the next six months I was able to carry myself to the height of my professional life and every so often really come alive in his arms. I felt confident and sexier than I had ever been. We would schedule our time out so that we could get that ‘boost’ from each other whenever we needed it, which was about once a week. It wasn’t just sex. I had someone to confide in and find comfort in, but could send him on his way when I wanted to be alone. Just like my idol Samantha Jones from SATC. I could never give him the love that his wife did and understood my place as the better side of him. He was more of a friend to me that I truly cared for and never wished anything bad on him or his family.

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One day I was sitting in church…don’t laugh, yes I attend… and they were talking about not coveting things from your neighbor etc. And that got me thinking about what I had going on. I began to feel ashamed that I was the dark secret in his marriage, but why? I had no loyalty to her he did. At that moment I wished he would have the courage to be loyal and let me go so he could be the better husband.  He called me one day and I began to tell him what my thoughts were on our situation, but then he invited me to stay at a bed and breakfast all weekend. So I packed up my thoughts, feelings, and Jimmy Choo’s and headed off to this beautiful place in the Monterey Peninsula.

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His wife had gone out of town for something important and was calling every three hours ‘just to say hey’. I knew then that she knew something was up, but it never stopped us from rolling in the sand, sheets, or burning a hole in the floor.  We visited the aquarium, fed each other new amazing foods, did some shopping, and acted like…a couple…it was weird, but refreshing. I was counting down the hours I had left with him for two days and on Sunday just decided to live in the moment. In our final moments standing on the sunset shores of Monterey he looked me in the eyes and said I love you.  I stared at him and thought maybe this could work…then his wife called and said she was headed home early. So we packed up and went our separate ways for the next month.

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About a month later I asked him to meet me at my favorite tapas spot. He walked in and saw me sitting in the corner sulking and jogged over then cuddled up next to me to ask what’s wrong. I told him that our weekend away was going to make us a family. To my surprise he was excited and hugged me like no one else had hugged me before. He said that he loved me, would leave his wife, and we could begin our lives together. I looked him back in those deep dark eyes and saw no soul of a man that truly had love in his heart. Then I told him no you won’t and you don’t love me. You don’t love her.

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We battled back and forth about his ‘love’ that he had for the two women in his life. The better side of him and the better part of him. I let him know that I got rid of the baby and it was over. I needed to be a better me and he needed to find himself before he had anyone else be a part or side of him. I wasn’t ready to be anyone’s baby mama, wife, woman or whatever.  Love is a chain I am not ready to be linked to yet. It’s a trap for women to be broken, busted, underachieved, and over-stressed for honestly no reason. He stormed off and I never saw him again. Don’t really know or care what happened to him and his wife. I need to live for me and be touched every once in a while.  I hope that my absence brings some light into those deep dark soulless eyes that I could never fulfill.

C.B. Fletcher is a public relations manager that has worked with domestic and international pr campaigns in the entertainment, fashion, hospitality, and literary industry. She continues to pursue independent projects and collaborations for events and growing businesses. As a contributing writer to Breath of Life Daily, Ms.Nix In The Mix, and The Urban Realist she has had the opportunity to feature intriguing and uplifting stories of people from around the country, as well as lend her perspective on risque and complicated subjects. She also has caught the directing bug in her first upcoming documentary about the journey of a woman fighting Mucoepidermoid carcinoma cancer; Some People Are Just (Un)Lucky. C.B. lives in Atlanta, GA and embraces the fulfilling love of her long term relationship and incredible family and friends. For more information on upcoming articles, films, and snippets from her upcoming books please visit www.facebook.com/CBFWorld.