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I’m Still In Love With My Ex’s Kids?

Baby, I will give you the world and all its wonders if that is what you  desire today. For you I will fight battles with the devil himself if it will bring you joy. I can climb with you up a mountain or dance under the moon with you if it will make you smile. For you, my majestic being, I will create roads to success just to see you conquer your haters. My body is yours and you may do what you please to it as I will do with yours. You can have all of this and more, but you cannot have my heart. My heart was stolen long ago, not by another woman, but her children who give me the fulfillment that I strive to give you. There is nothing romantic about it, they are the completion of my soul that every person craves to have in their life. I am able to be the man I am because of them although they do not share my blood, only hers.  What I am saying to you is I will allow you to love me, but I cannot love you because I am in love with my ex’s kids.- The man you love

Why the hell can’t a woman over 28 catch a break when it comes to available single men?  We work so hard to perfect ourselves to our own standards and bellow ‘Independent Woman‘ by Destiny’s Child with pride, until we fall into the void of loneliness. Then we fight to have a man in our life with the following requirements: Stable, Loyal, No Psychos, and No Kids . When you start to creep over 30 these types of men are far and few between, however they are out there. So to find one that meets your every need and  has a strong affection for children that are not his, is all the more a deal-breaker as well as a heart break.  Now let’s not label children as a total turn off. A man having a father’s heart is actually a beautiful thing that can be shared within the family you create together.

Now the first assumption is he is not in love with the kids he still love’s his ex and is using the kids as a front. This is something that is an undesirable circumstance, but easier to accept. Situations such as  his ex calling him to ask  when he is coming over to carve the pumpkins for Halloween or help the kids Christmas shop. Much like an ex-baby-mama would do. In that type of annoying situation you simply nod, smile, and cooperate to keep the peace for the kids.  But since the only  binding tie he has to this woman is a mortgage on a house that he paid for and she kicked him out of,  there is no reason for them to communicate especially over the kids.

What can a woman possibly offer a man that has chosen to fill his life with the love of children and not a spouse? She can sex him until he utters ‘what kids’.  She can support him in new business ventures and listen to his daily cries. She can create new experiences with him via vacation or food.  She can suggest times where they can all be together as a family to help him ween off the children. Hold up! Too close he has now snapped and told you that his life with his kids is separate from a life with you. So what does that now make you…the side chick.

Wasn’t this an exclusive relationship? When did you become the side chick? The whole point of dating past 28 is to  settle down and create a family. So here it is, the ultimatum when you ask him to choose a life with you or with the kids. Secretly you hope for the most mentally peaceful situation, which is to be with you. His life and yours depend on this unhealthy attachment ending. For the sake of the children you hope that he is able to break ties with them, so that when their mother meets her perfect match there is no confusion of who their real father is.  Tick tock tick tock. What is the final answer? A text that simply states: You have been wonderful to me. But my ex and I are back together now so that we can raise our family.

**This article is based on actual events**

What do women over 28 have to offer men, when their hearts are broken by exes and stolen by the love of their ex’s kids? Does she fight for his love?

Was it the ex’s ploy all along to get back her man?

Sound off.

 

 

 

 

 

I've seen it all, been through it all and I am still standing strong. I have very little patience for foolishness but I have enough compassion and drive to help those who ask for help. Recently, I got tired of seeing women just making some poor choices and having made many mistakes in my life; I am here to help you out!

7 Comments

  1. Janice / The Roller Coaster Ride

    February 28, 2014 at 10:09 am

    I agree, that was one messy situation. I’m a mom in a blended family (my present partner is the father of my third child, so he’s stepdad to my first two kids). I imagine, if the guy has spent years with those “stepkids” of his, it would have been really hard for him to give them up totally. Also, if the kids were really close to him and thought of him as a father, it would be hard for them too if he totally stayed out of the picture. So, maybe he was also just thinking of the kids. It’s a case to case basis but yeah, I can imagine it being tough for that friend of yours. Hopefully, she’ll find the right man for him soon.

    Janice / The Roller Coaster Ride recently posted…Events: Chicdriven Women Empowerment ExpoMy Profile

  2. Erika @ VA Creatively

    February 23, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    That’s a really tough situation, especially the way that it ended. It makes you wonder if he went back for the ex or went back due to his love for the kids. If the latter, I don’t see that being a lasting relationship. I’m sorry that happened to you :(

    Erika @ VA Creatively recently posted…Okay, I’m Just Going to Come Out and Ask You ThisMy Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      February 23, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      Fortunately this did not happen to me, but unfortunately this happened to a friend of mine. But it’s hard to tell exactly what he wanted. It would be weird if it was actually for the kids, but not surprising if it was for the woman. What would you do?

  3. Michelle H

    February 20, 2014 at 7:16 am

    What a situation you have been in! Kids are important and divorce is messy. I just completely stayed away from it when I was dating. Good luck!

    Michelle H recently posted…Random Something or Other #1My Profile

    • Ms. Nix

      February 20, 2014 at 7:39 am

      The thing was he was not married to this chick, nor were they his children. So it was just a mess all the way around.

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